okokokokok lets go ill start

ART! yes, it is coming, it is coming today, I will post it here later tonight, it’s a bit different from the other art ive posted here previously, ive been experimenting with new thought processes and insights on the world. this art sort of reflects sacred geometry, or a sonic geometry, or a mathematically sound extisential topic that is sort of represented here. the background is a spectrogram of violin, which may not sound like it relates much, but music is a frequency that relates to this mathematical universal concept in a way that relates to the dimensions we reside in a certain way. dimensions, as in the way they are related to each other, sort of like a structure, like a building, like a machine it all comes together, essentially because it needs to coexist, sort of like how math shapes music frequency all of it comes together in the machine of life the universe there’s much more to this topic I can write about it, but this is about art so i  will stick to that...

well as I was saying, it will look a bit different, which is fine ofc, bc variety is needed in this day and age, I HATE social media, vile on the face of this earth, truly poison if I do say, which I am. I've been thinking about structure, I could talk about that functionally, as is societal, but, there is a monitering process, be VIGILANT, I do say. yes.

well also I am caught up in a web of life, and people, which if you have ever read any other my other posts, is NOT my strongest suit, i like to think, so I have to spend those thoughts on people, so, I'm sort of in a place where art, creation, and expression are not an available rout. which makes me sad if I am honest, all day, every day, I think and think and think and think and think and I want to make, I want to write, I want to spell, I wantt to draw, I want to take these scattered thoughts, butterflies in my mind, and I want to catch each one with a net. I want to embed the wings onto a page, so those flies can no longer get in my face and distact me, becasue my life is starting, I got my license and I'm about to take the ACT. I NEED TO FOCUS AND THIS GODAMN STARTTERA DOES JACK SHIT< JACK YOU FUCKER, I NEED A BRRAIN TO WORK I HATE THE FUCKING NEURONS. but I am calm, I will write, AFTER, the ACT, I will.

I'm not only working on art,

I

am

a

POET, a

WRITER

lets be honest, I'm not the best artist, I wanted to be, but that takes time. time, and effort, and initive, that I cant come up with for art. but, I can with writing, I am drawn to topics, and I am drawn to flesh them out, I want to take these words and string them together in a beautiful tapestry, stich them together like quilt. I want my words to function like that machine, to come tother to make something GREAT.

I lied before, that poem before wasn't my magnum opus, its not yet come to be, but can feel it upon the horizon, subtly advancing till it stands RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, and I will understand ALL, you bet. I CAN feel it, I know it. so then, I only have to let time take its course, and it will all come to me in time.

to be specific, I've always know there was something there, I mean like somthing just there under the surface, like under the covers and I am going to pull back the sheets. but I don't know what will happen after. I think self destruction might be inevitable, that sounds ominous, but, its artistic, I thought about van gogh. starrry night is SUCH a beautiful painting, it is an expression of life, its one of those GREAT ones, ya know, just yea u kno. and he was dealt only 37 year, but, if you could guess, that painting was one of his last. and he lead of life of profound loneliness, he could not grasp connection in the begining, but then he figured it out, he expressed it, then he dies.

and I don't like waiting, I don't want to be 37, I want to be 17 or 18 when my magnum opus comes to me, therefore, I dotn need anything after.

I think I'm also just kinda occupied, I did actully go to a homecoming, but it wasn't good. I just didn't like the party life, I am expanding my horizons which I know is important but all i wanted was to go home and be safe. and the guy wont leave me alone, and I don't rlly like him, its just too much responsibility and I don't want to look after someone elses feelings, I'm not a mother.

so I'm sorta ig feeling a lot in my chest, I want to make art, but I have to study, so not I'm procrasinatng wringing as I write which is really weird but I will get to it, GET TO IT> its just formula, I hat emath, I hate it, but I like it, I don't like not understanding it, I think I could tho.